February's Revenge

Months are alive. February took her/his/its (??????) revenge on me. Just minutes after publishing the last post, I went out to answer nature's call, a very long call, but i will spare you the details.

So I reach my room, unlock it, and the door was supposed to open, but strangely it didn't. I kicked it for about half an hour but to no avail. After about half my lobby was up, they forcefully put me to sleep, in somebody else's room.

Morning, i go to class in somebody else's clothes, with no books files anything. Strangely February showed me sympathy by canceling class. Got back to hostel, scored a ladder from somewhere, Chhabra climbed up, woke up the dead drunk guy in my room and it was a happy ending. Minus the drunk guy, who was just a figment of my imagination.

Arrgh February. Oops sorry, i love you, February, Mother/father/thing full of power and benevolence.

I hope ass licking helps.

Owww, my eyes pain

I am in the initial stages of sleep deprivation. Weird day actually, both yesterday and today. Lets see what the rest of today holds. CAD lab, lectures, bad food and hopefully some sleep. I may start studying though.

Short post.

Haha.(Nelson style)

Now playing: Bob Dylan - Most Likely You Go Your Way And I'll Go Mine

Rambling on..................

I'm sitting in a peaceful place. Trees on three sides and open fields in front of me. The wind just makes it better, blowing coolly across my face, making the leaves rustle in an oh so perfect way. The sparrow chirps, the occasional cuckoo calls and every once in a while a myna's song. Bliss. Who wouldn't be happy here?? Well me.

I am calm, peaceful and at ease, but not happy. I see myself falling apart at the seams. The threads of whatever sanity I had left are slowly coming loose. But nothing can hurt me here and now, because here, I am alone, truly alone. Away from friends, family or anybody I know, in the peaceful embrace of nature, which though soothing,cannot calm my troubled mind. I know, I don;t know. Why have I come here?? when I could have been in my room, or someone else's room, in class, in the canteen or anywhere else. But I am here, and whatever it was that pulled me to this place, I am thankful for it. About time for a cigarette break.

Ahhh.

THat done. Now what was I getting to?? Yeah. Every experience in life counts. Everything you say, do or think, every place you go, its all a part of who you are, your identity, your persona. Ive been aching to say this.

I have regrets, loads of them, but still, everything I've done makes me who I am. And I am, if not proud, but at least satisfied with one thing, who I am, regardless of what I want to be, what I could've been and all those other things.



Now playing: Pink Floyd - Atom Heart Mother: Father's Shout/Breast Milky/Mother Fore/Funky Dung/Mind Your Throats Please/Remergence
Now Reading : Watchmen by Alan Moore.

Now Feeling : Sleepy.

I got em Smoky Room Blues

This post was actually meant to be a self critical post, but sadly it isn't. Instead its sad, very sad. Sorry I was trying to be ominous there. Nothing ever lives up to expectations, never. It might exceed, it might do the opposite of exceed, but never totally live up to it. Take this post for instance, what it could be and what it will be are two completely different things. You just witnessed the death of a thread of thought.

Im depressed, down, and so on. I write from a smoke filled room, now clearing up, because I'm out of cigarettes. If I were an ole nigger from the ole South, I'd be 'singin Them Ole Relationship Blues', but I'm a Kashmiri from Bombay, so im just sulking, and writing in this here blog. To cut the long story short, I was dumped, and I'm down. Well, who wouldn't be. Its just that it was so unexpected, both the time, and the person. It sort of shakes your confidence on people, makes you vulnerable and you end up missing her a lot more, than you ever did. I end up looking at the phone with a sort of longing. What should somebody in this situation do, cut all ties, cauterize the broken link that shouldn't have broken in the first place. Ok the metaphor was a little too much. But theres an upside, not really up, but something all the same. I understand all those breakup movies, I understand what people I know have gone through. But it hurts. A lot.

I miss you.


Does letting the other person know what you feel like make you weak?? And whats wrong with being weak?

I should go get a life.

But from where??

And I'm not racist.

Dont think I can write anymore.
Ive loved and lost, a little too much. And fool that I am, I'm taking centrestage and announcing it.

Well it ain't all that wrong to seek attention.

Back to the topic.I should stop writing right about NOW.


Now playing: A Perfect Circle - The Hollow (take 1)

Now Reading : Whatever I'm writing, and have written.

Now Feeling : Haven't I written enough about that.

I really really miss you.

I'm pathetic aren't I.