Big fish ----- little fish

Physics lecture is the best time to let the synapses between my brains and my hands warm up, without using any unnecessary mundane day to day thinking processes. This specimen was done totally by my hand and my sub conscious, I think, because i dont knowwhat the hell its about. My vocabulary seems to be slowly descending down the little inlet to the sewer which can be found in wash basins, bath tubs etc.

Reading : Sandman : Endless Nights by Neil Gaiman. And Dave McKean's Cages. And my workshop journal (eeeyech!!!! i can taste the bleeding wood shavings, filed metal, coal dust, green sand and I am blinded by the dazzling spectra of what we know fondly as arc welding.)

And my latest favorite phrase : watchooo doin?????

Now playing: Dave Mathews - Crash Into Me

Je suis tres arty farty, comprenez - vous?

Arre baas bada naa yaar!!!!!

One crazy weekend, 48 crazy hours, very little sleep, couple of beers, way too many friends. Class was a party, canteen was a party, my room was a party, the party was a party, my head was a party and I was party to all these parties. I was caretaker, conaisseur, maitre de, partaker of many and user, abuser and consumer of many more.

And now im cleaning my room, my clothes, the cafe and tryin to get it all clean out of my head. The whole batch together, unleashed on a sleepy city, an unsuspecting hotel, we wreaked havoc, unleasing a spew of smoke, burps, swears, laughs and puke all over the place.

Damn nothing philosophical or even slightly intellectual this time either.

With blood on my hands. (literally)
W. Listener

Wake up, and smell the insects, and also the tea you never drink, but is offered to you everyday, not to forget ................

Strange days are here.I think i swallowed an alarm clock. Because things have started t oget really weird. Ok, ok let me get to the point, ive been waking up at exactly 6:44 am, for a couple of days. Actually, i need to rephrase, ive been waking up, on my own (which is the real surprise here) and when i look at the time, its exactly 6:44 am. Freaky innit.The weirdest part is that this always happens when i dont have the 8 o clock lecture in the morning. Somehow i wake up early, of my own accord, when i dont need to. And when i do need to wake for my 8:00 am lecture, one of my other alarm clocks ie my classmates, wakes me up at a very convenient 7:45. why does this happen??? No one knows, definitely not me. And more importantly, where does all my sleep go, because there never goes a day without me dozing off in class, or rather every class.

More for later, when i actually feel like writing.

Reading : Fell by Warren Ellis, Dark Side of The Moon by Bill Harris.
Listening to : 1200 micrograms, Pink Floyd (Ummagumma, thanks hathi)

Tyoun Dyun Dyoun Doun Da Doun Daaiiin Dounnn

Its all a pattern. I seem to be going down an endless double helix (im vain and a downward spiral is too common and simple for me). I see myself getting shallower and shallower in my own eyes. My only means of entertainment is making fun of others and obscene homosexuality. What respite do i have, what means are there for a small vacation from my sitch, in which, by myself place i am which , is a bitch.
Please forgive me for the last line, it was a pathetic attempt at spontaneous poetry, which because of our hammered in ideals of poetry, is in rhyme. This happened beause of a dormant inferiority complex brought back to the surface by reading my younger brothers verses.

I was wondering, why do i blog?? Am i so short of friends, that i must make the whole world my confidante?. Do i just want to show off? Maybe i like to convince my self that i have some skill in some field, which to me seems to be called bitching.

I hate people, no not all , im not some kind of misanthrope. Ive hated some people ive been with for the last 4 years. people ive hugged, shaken hands with, talked to at length, collaborated with and so on. And i have now come to realise, my feelings towards them were mostly the result of the green eyed succubus that is jealousy (succubus and not monster cuz come on, both jealousy and a sucubus are attractive).

p.s. : this is not a suicide note.

Overload, Overflow and a lot of other words with similar meanings

Its been a while since I have written anything in this most unholy of places, especially after my change of adress(i.e. the blog). A lot has happene in this time.
A recent event is my haircut. It brings this blog round a full circle, considering my first post was about a haircut happening to me. This latest froectomy took place a full 5 months after my last one, so the fro had grown considerably, to my satisfaction.

This brings me to a topic i feel very passionately about, discrimination and abuse of people who have curly hair and choose to grow it. Would any sane, peaceloving, atheistic/agnostic and most importantly straight guy like to be compared , continually to a child molester, confidence trickster and false prophet rolled into one. Isnt there any other figure of repute in the world who has an afro??? What happened to einstein, hendrix, bob dylan, michael enzeiger, shorty, undercover brother, ............ yada yada kapooie. Why then sai baba????

Say hello to the rug's topography
It holds quite a lot of interest with your face down on it
Say hello to the shrinking in your head
You can't see it but you know its there so don't neglect it

I'm taking her home with me all dressed in white
She's got everything I need pharmacy keys
She's falling hard for me I can see it in her eyes
She acts just like a nurse with all the other guys

Say hello to all the apples on the ground
They were once in your eyes but you sneezed them out while sleeping
Say hello to everything you've left behind
It's even more a part of your life now that you can't touch it

I'm taking her home with me all dressed in white
She's got everything I need some pills in a little cup
She's falling hard for me I can see it in her eyes
She acts just like a nurse with all the other guys

Say hello to the rugs topography...

This is for her.
P.S. This is not by me, its a song by the band failure, covered by A Perfect Circle.

The next 4 years are gonna be an emotional void with short and occasional respites. But what i feel will never change.